VOICES FROM FOSTER CARE & ADOPTION
"We are taking her home"
Submitted by: Darlene Singh
Submitted by: Darlene Singh
In May 1975 my father walked into the social worker’s office and said to my mother grab her bags, we are taking her home, I was just over 2 years old, and all my possessions fit into two tiny flower printed suitcases. 46 years later I am parentless, but recently my dad, on his death bed, said I was the best thing he ever did. Although, adopted I was considered their daughter and interestingly had a resemblance to my cousins, even more so than my brother despite being a biological child of my mother. I was about 6 years old when I was told that I was adopted, my mom brought out my adoption papers and explained to me that I once had other parents.
There was not an ounce of negativity in her voice, and she explained to me that my parents were married and that I had siblings. At the time it made no difference in my life, but I never forgot what she told me and like most as I aged, I too wondered about this other family to whom I had once belonged. Once I had access to the Internet, I started searching for people with the same surname and my original community. I did not find much, but I never stopped searching. Interestingly, it was through a friend of my now-husband that I located my birth parents.
Meeting birth parents is not the glorified experience we watch on Oprah, but almost traumatic and almost riddled with guilt for the adoptee. My first couple of attempts, I made it to the road, but could not go further. When I finally followed through, she ran off the front porch, with tears of happiness and I stood there frozen, as she hugged me, I had no idea what to do next and thought, what was I thinking, deciding to meet these people? But finally, I knew where my hair color originated and my gift to talk.
I was the youngest child of 7, the only girl, the only child adopted, it was the 70s things were different, even married lost their children to the authorities, however, this gave me a wonderful family and opportunities. All 4 of my parents are now deceased, but I am happy they afforded me the opportunity to be happy. Since their deaths I have had the fortitude to meet a brother, leaving with further guilt as an adoptee, but also a piece of my life that I had been searching for over the past two decades. He thought that I would never want to meet him, so agreeing to meet him I was able to give him a piece of his life back. Remember that it is natural to have questions, but also that all any part of your family wants is for you to be happy.
Comme un papillon (Fr)
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