Nine
Submitted by: Zo Bourgeois

My Son, Emile is now at the age when I asked my social worker if I could be adopted... Seeing where he is at 9 and comparing him to where I was at 9... What a big difference. It's a bit of a triggering year for me because seeing the life he has makes me kind of jealous of the life I didn't have at that age. I was entering foster care again for what felt like the 100th time and my mother gave birth to my youngest brother that summer who was immediately placed for adoption. My oldest brother was living in a group home - struggling to find his way. But Emile, he gets to be a kid... And that seems so simple to most but when I was 9 the last thing I could be was just a kid. I had so much shit happening in my life that forced me to not be able to just be a "kid". 

Emile gets to come home from school and hang with his grandma until I get off of work. When I get home we make supper and eat at the table every night together. He then works on his homework and then gets to play his games or whatever he chooses to do for his free time. Certain days he goes to karate which I take him every time. At bedtime, he gets told stories either from Grandma or myself. Then he gets to crawl in bed and sleep and wake up and do it again. That seems so simple to most... But my life at nine was not like that it was actually the opposite to simple. My life was a roller coaster of ups and downs. Basically full of uncertainty.

BUT I am thankful he gets to be just a "kid". I am happy I can provide him with that life. That smile he has on his face... I see that smile every day, multiple times a day. I am thankful that my experiences have helped me be a better mother for my children. I write this because well... I am happy my son is that happy 9-year-old "kid" who doesn't have to worry about his next moves. I love you. ♥️